Diario de un Kamikaze en Recuperación

He stood nervously outside the door, wishing he knew how to smoke and pretend like everything was OK. He searched and scratched his brain looking for an excuse not to get into his car and just stay there, without looking too much like an idiot ‘til she came out. Seconds passed like hot gulps of coffee, scalding, slow and hard to swallow. Finally, he felt the air on the back of his neck change direction, and before he was able to blink she stood by his side.

“So”, he mumbled almost panicky, reaching for another excuse to keep her near, “you wanna get something to eat?” “Sure. There’s a Village Inn down Mesa Street, do you want to follow me?” “Yeah.” And he did. It would be only the first time.

He rushed into his ’94 Honda Accord which had been leaking coolant coming over the border earlier in the day and begged the car gods to have it hold on for just a little more, just enough to follow her grey Buick up and down that grey hill.

They went in and quickly installed themselves in one of the booths, on the same seat, facing north. She at the left side, and he at the right. A very polite waitress quickly supplied them with coffee and left some menus for them to look over. She wasn’t hungry and he wasn’t sure what he wanted to eat. “Maybe just her for desert” he thought. They started with small talk and soon moved to more interesting conversation: what each other’s family was like, the death of his father, her lack of brothers and sisters, his excess of them, what their fears were and what sort of things life had taught them.

At one point, she tucked her right leg under her butt and turned enough to face him directly. He had to turn away every now and again, not bearing the pressure of those greenish-blue eyes at point-blank range. The waitress came back to take their order and discovered he hadn’t even glanced at the menu. He was still too busy trying to control the memory of her long, luscious neck. He had teased her earlier with a pink ribbon that dangled from her pink, strapped blouse, caressing the back of her neck with it, knowing full well it would make some of the moles on her back stand up in attention. He just couldn’t help himself after she kissed him, days before, when rehearsal for “Lion In Winter” was over and no one was looking. He sat there, fighting an almost magnetic need to be close to her.

The waitress came back for a third time, and being somewhat embarrassed for still not having looked at the menu, he ordered the first thing that looked tasty: “Pancakes with bananas and strawberries, please”, thinking something sweet so not to spoil the sweetness. And then, out of the blue, she took his hand with her own, and he knew that all was lost. He caressed and grabbed her arm as if it were a beautiful lifeline that was preventing him from slipping. For the next couple of hours—or days, or years since time was sort of blurry—they talked away, learning each other’s shape with their hands. They cared little that the food got cold and the coffee seemed to disappear. He didn’t care she was 8 years younger and she seemed to forgive the fact that he was “more experienced”. They even managed to forget for a moment that in less than one month she would be moving away to New York to be a real bona-fide actress. At that moment, only the possibilities existed, only happiness ahead.

Inevitably, midnight came upon, and like that Cinderella story, they would have to part ways. So he walked her to her metallic carriage and hugged her like a castaway clinging to his lifeboat. Finally, he gave her the sweetest kiss he could find. He sensed that day what would take her 2,500 miles to find out: love like this doesn’t come along every day.

(26/Dec/2004)

escrito por Carlos Rubalcava a las 1:18 AM | 1 comentarios -- da clic aquí para dejar el tuyo
archivado en: in englich, la puritita neta

The short, effeminate, pudgy-looking man types away at his computer. I sit facing him, gripping the armrests, leaning hard on the back of the chair to repress any sign of the frustration in me that is starting to bubble outward.

“But I applied since April 26th”, I say.

He looks at me with the same face my sister used to give me when I was a 5 year old. You know, that tight-lipped, eyes rolled upward face caused by an annoying little brat.

“It takes 6 to 10 weeks for it to be processed. It’s only been 5 weeks.”

What? Are these people kidding me? Never mind that the letter they gave me said at most four weeks. Six weeks to generate a stupid Social Security Number?

“Well”, he continues, “we have to make sure your documents check out with immigration.”

“Ugh, not again.” I told myself as I tried to take a deep breath. I caught myself starting to pant. “I got to think of getting back to Jenny”

If she didn’t live in New York, I wouldn’t give a flying fuck about coming over to the U.S. Jumping though all these hoops. At first I thought it was just the immigration guys being pricks, but now I see the bureaucrats are all over. And most of them look like this little worm.

“Maybe it’s me.” I thought. Maybe I raise too many flags? I mean, what’s not weird about a white-looking Mexican man with a college-degree and more credentials and experience than most Americans in the same position? They’ve probably never seen one before. No, maybe it’s because of my last name. Rubalcava. Wrrruh-bahl-caa-bah, as they say it—even when the guy has a nopal tattooed on his forehead. It does have Moorish roots, it means “empty cave”. Maybe they’re mistaking me for a terrorist. No, that can’t be it, I don’t look Muslim. I don’t even sound or look Mexican sometimes.

I know! Maybe it’s about that time I got arrested trying to come back to Juarez, just because I was a passenger in my friend’s car when she got pulled over for a DUI a couple of years ago. I mean, I didn’t do anything wrong, and the judge dismissed the charges, but I still got to spend the night in jail. I was arrested. I have a record now.

No, that can’t be it either. It wouldn’t explain why someone from this office can’t just pick up the friggin’ phone and call someone from immigration services: “Hey, did this chump get a visa from you with such and such number on such and such date? I faxed you a copy of his documents four weeks ago, does he look like this? Beety eyes, big nose, weird last name? OK, thanks.”

So I’ll probably end up waiting another month to get it. I’ll try to pay no attention at the 3 months that have already passed. All to get a piece of paper and a little number. And they wonder why people cross over illegally.

escrito por Carlos Rubalcava a las 6:39 PM | 0 comentarios -- da clic aquí para dejar el tuyo
archivado en: in englich, la puritita neta

I can imagine this idiot's conversation with St. Peter at the pearly gates:

Peter: "Next."

Man: "Hey what gives, I though God didn't exist, I mean, I called to him, asked him to save me from the lions..."

Peter: "Lions? Are those Romans killing Christians again down there?"

Man: "No, I got in there all by myself to see if He would save me."

Peter: "So you didn't hear the persistant voice in your head telling you that it was a stupid idea? What were you expecting, an e-mail?" (Pushes the button to the trap-door that leads to the special section of Hell™, reserved for the really dumb suicides)

Peter: "Next."

escrito por Carlos Rubalcava a las 10:26 AM | 0 comentarios -- da clic aquí para dejar el tuyo
archivado en: descubrimientos aleatorios, in englich

I was reading this post aluding to the interview that Salon did with Maddox (of The Best Page in the Universe fame) about his new book.

I dig his sense of humor, if not else because he's so fucking anti-everything, he pisses a lot of people off in the process, which to me is always a good thing.

And I do think he has a point regarding the huge market right now of males out there looking to find out how to "be a man". This is nothing new, as David DeAngelo has explained it--and exploited it--much better.

But from time to time, he does stray into the absurd. Your site is a blog man, get over it. (And if you had an RSS feed I might even read your stuff regularly).

Oh, and by the way, I'm the Center Of the Universe, not you.

escrito por Carlos Rubalcava a las 4:15 PM | 1 comentarios -- da clic aquí para dejar el tuyo
archivado en: in englich

Thought this was interesting.

Marvel has come out with a mini-series, Civil War in which two factions of superheroes start taking sides over the actions of the U.S. Government.

I'm not a big fan of comic books, but it's interesting to see how these artists are trying to bring the debate to the masses in a friendly way.

Favorite Captain America quote from this issue:

"Don't play politics with me, lady. Superheroes need to stay above that stuff or Washington starts telling us who the supervillains are."

escrito por Carlos Rubalcava a las 9:27 AM | 0 comentarios -- da clic aquí para dejar el tuyo
archivado en: descubrimientos aleatorios, in englich

One of my favorite-all time Muppets bits is the "Manha Manha" song:



Well, today I found out (courtesy of wikipedia):
"Mah Na Mah Na" is a well-known song, written in 1968 by Piero Umiliani as a soundtrack for the Italian softcore-pornography pseudo-documentary film Svezia, Inferno e Paradiso (Sweden, Hell and Heaven) about sexual activity in Sweden, and was played under a portrayal of lesbian BDSM."

See why porn is cool?

escrito por Carlos Rubalcava a las 1:00 PM | 0 comentarios -- da clic aquí para dejar el tuyo
archivado en: descubrimientos aleatorios, in englich

You know you're a Star Wars geek when...

escrito por Carlos Rubalcava a las 10:16 PM | 0 comentarios -- da clic aquí para dejar el tuyo
archivado en: descubrimientos aleatorios, in englich

Up until today, I had never heard of Lou Dobbs, who from now on shall be referred to as “The Schmuck”—I don't watch TV, remember? Let alone that poor excuse for a journalistic news channel they call CNN.

On the bus ride heading for work this morning, I got a chance to hear the audio version of a New York Times Op-Ed piece by John Tierney called “Border of Insanity”. I almost wanted to get off immediately and run to a newsstand to buy a copy of the Times for my archives.

It is one of the funniest and most intelligent pieces I’ve heard on the whole (Mexican) illegal immigration schpiel that is going on right now in the U. S. Not only did he manage to poke fun at The Schmuck—who has spued racist crap like this—but he hit the exact idea of things to come if immigration extremists get what they want: a border between two nations not unlike that between North and South Korea. And we’re the South.

So do yourself a favor and check out a copy of today’s NY Times at your public library or something. You’ll get lots of good laugs and food for thought.

(Geez, I’d wish this piece of NY Times Op-Ed online content wasn’t subscriber-only so I could share.)

escrito por Carlos Rubalcava a las 10:04 AM | 0 comentarios -- da clic aquí para dejar el tuyo
archivado en: in englich

Need I say anything else?

Read the article on The Onion

escrito por Carlos Rubalcava a las 10:02 AM | 0 comentarios -- da clic aquí para dejar el tuyo
archivado en: descubrimientos aleatorios, in englich

Thank God I have friends that can give me a point of view that is different than my own. My good friend Michelle Otero sent me this reply to "Juarez is not that violent".

She is coming out with a book in a couple of weeks, Malinche's Daughter, on Momotombo Press. It should be a very good read.

i just read your article. i see your point, but i think you're oversimplifying.
the women aren't numbers. they're people. they're somebody's daughters. they matter to women like esther chavez cano and me because we hear the stories behind the numbers, from women who, like you, were raised by their mothers and grew up with many sisters and tias and primas, and still received the messages from the patriarchal society surrounding them: te ves mas bonita cuando te quedas callada; mujeres juntas, mejor difuntas. puta means whore. puto means faggot, a man who acts like a woman by having sex with other men. (i am not saying that the u.s. is any less sexist or patriarchal than mexico; it simply manifests itself in different ways.) all receiving the message, often unspoken, that as women, they were less than, and if they were raped or sexually abused, it was somehow their fault.
though you don't want to be "sexist" in the way you value victims of crime, it's important to recognize that their gender does matter, particularly if you take into account how many were raped and sexually tortured before they were killed. murder isn't the worst thing that can happen to a person.
i've never heard esther chavez cano or cynthia bejarano or any of the committed activists refer to ciudad juarez as a hell hole. what i have heard them say is that juarez's women, and in turn, its men and children, deserve better, and if the local and state and federal police can't protect its people, then indeed, it is vicente fox's responsibility to hold the authorities accountable (rather than throwing up his hands and saying it's not his jurisdiction) and replace them with people who will fulfill their civic duty to create a just society.

I had a rather long reply to this, but I'm not sure it would add any value to the discussion. So we'll leave it at that for now.

escrito por Carlos Rubalcava a las 9:10 AM | 0 comentarios -- da clic aquí para dejar el tuyo
archivado en: así pienso ¿y qué?, in englich

I can hardly believe it has been 3 years now since the second War on Iraq was started.  There is little in my mind that is as persistent as hearing on the radio, every day: “so many civilians were killed today in an attack near Baghdad...”

As of one year ago, organizations calculated the toll of Iraqi civilian casualties around 100,000.  One-Hundred Thousand.  That’s 25 times the amount of dead from the 9/11 attacks.  And that was a year ago.

What possible justification could any rational person give for this?  That it was for the safety of Americans? For the propagation of democracy and freedom ideals to the Iraqis?

I call bullshit.  And I propose a much simpler explanation: Money.

In my lifetime’s experience, the world revolves around two things: sex and money.  As my good friend Ted Karber once eloquently put it: “As human beings, we either want to buy it or we want to fuck it”.  

I wish to God it wasn’t so.  I wish that the actions of individuals and nations revolved around Love instead, but unfortunately that does not seem to be the reality.  

War Is a Racket.  I am certainly not the first to say it and any cynic like me probably knows that already.  I first realized this when I was in high school and the first Gulf War was fought.  

But at least then nobody pretended it wasn’t about the oil, or making money. And that’s what really rubs my rhubarb: that Bush & Co. would have the gull to say it was about “liberating” the Iraqi people or protecting U.S. citizens.  It kills me that they would render the U.N. useless by proceeding with an unjustified war that the entire world protested and then come back crying as to why they can’t get any support to curb Iran or North Korea’s nuclear weapons programs.

It pisses me off that the price for getting the U.S. economy out of an imminent recession was a hundred thousand civilian lives.  This kind of thing should not be allowed in the world.

But it does happen.  Nations go to war for money or power.  This has always been the case: from the Crusades, to the World Wars or the Cold War (Vietnam, Korea), take your pick.

If you still don’t believe me, then I would suggest reading Smedley Butler’s—two-time Medal of Honor, Maj. General in the U.S. Marine Corp’s—most excellent essay.  Written around the time of WWI.

escrito por Carlos Rubalcava a las 2:51 PM | 0 comentarios -- da clic aquí para dejar el tuyo
archivado en: así pienso ¿y qué?, in englich

This is precious. I can surely say my thoughts on Scientology have not improved...

escrito por Carlos Rubalcava a las 12:14 PM | 1 comentarios -- da clic aquí para dejar el tuyo
archivado en: descubrimientos aleatorios, in englich

I guess it shouldn't be a surprise that for Americans, the Simpsons are more popular than the Constitution. From Reuters:

Half of 1,000 Americans randomly surveyed by the McCormick Tribune Freedom Museum could name at least two of the five members of Fox Television's Simpson family, the stars of the network's long-running show.

But just 28 percent of respondents could name more than one of the five freedoms listed in the U.S. Constitution's First Amendment -- about the same proportion that could name all five Simpson family members or could recall the three judges on Fox TV's top-rated "American Idol."

Just 8 percent could recall three First Amendment freedoms.

[...] Freedom of religion was recalled by 24 percent, freedom of the press by 11 percent, freedom of assembly by 10 percent, and freedom to petition for redress of grievances (right to a day in court) by 1 percent.

escrito por Carlos Rubalcava a las 2:54 PM | 0 comentarios -- da clic aquí para dejar el tuyo
archivado en: descubrimientos aleatorios, in englich

Almost anyone who knows me, knows why I don't watch T.V., listen to the radio or read the newspapers. The only exceptions are PBS and NPR. I get the rest of my news from Google News, thank you very much.

This morning NPR proved it's worth once more. When I woke up my alarm clock was talking about the leaked report that shed some details on the "Dirty War" that the Mexican government used against the rebels in the 1960's and 1970's.

I would have loved to seen Lopez "Porpillo" and Díaz Ordaz prosecuted--Echeverría still lives... will it take another Spain to prosecute him like they did with Pinochet?

Had it not been for an alternative party in power right now, for Fox, this probably would have never been taken seriously nowadays. To me, that is a sign that we're moving forward.

Even though I generally dislike the leftist media, especially Proceso, I had to read the report for myself. I took it though, with a pound of salt. Like I've said before, Mexican media loves to sell papers more than they love telling the truth. Funny, how the sources seem to be not Mexican documents, but U.S. documents--Was the U.S. really that indifferent while this was going on?

It was actually impossible to find alternative sources on the story from the Mexican media online. I had to settle for two rather balanced pieces, one on the Chicago Tribune website and the other on the BBC website--see why I love Google News?

And to those who say the "Dirty War" is still going on, I say: get over yourselves, they are only the remnants of corruption left in our society. Want to do something about it? For God's sake don't ever vote for the PRI again (sorry mom).

escrito por Carlos Rubalcava a las 6:28 PM | 0 comentarios -- da clic aquí para dejar el tuyo
archivado en: así pienso ¿y qué?, in englich

I don't know what disturbs me the most about this news article, the fact that a person actually sued the USPS for being too stupid to look where she was going, or that the frickin' U.S. Supreme Court actually heard the case and had to make a ruling. Don't they have anything better to do? Like, say, rule on partial-birth abortion?

It's these kinds of cases that actually make me fell glad the Mexican judicial system is useless.

In Mexico this would have gone something like this:
Woman: Judge! I've tripped over the mail, the postal service needs to compensate me!
Jugde: Boo-hoo! I should throw YOU in jail for pretending to be funny since we don't have a postal system.

(Actually, we technically do have one, but when every letter takes about 3-4 months to reach it's destination, it's better to pretend like we don't)

escrito por Carlos Rubalcava a las 10:36 AM | 0 comentarios -- da clic aquí para dejar el tuyo
archivado en: descubrimientos aleatorios, in englich

I read this bit of news yesterday, where the official report on the “femicides” of women in Cd. Juárez effectively dismissed the claims that (1) they were serial killings, and (2) that the number of women who disappeared—and presumed dead—numbered in the thousands.

This has angered a lot of people, especially the ones working with the victims and the victims’ organizations. What I am about to say will probably add fuel to that fire, since I agree with the report.

But before I start getting into it and get flamed, let me just say a few things about me: I was raised by my mother, I have 4 sisters and 1 brother, and out of my 10 nieces and nephews 6 are female. So anyone who thinks that I would belittle any threat to the women in my family is sadly mistaken—in fact, it would probably be the only thing that would make me turn violent against an aggressor.

I consider any event of rape or murder as a tragedy, whether the victim is female or male. I reproach violence at all levels, but I don’t believe in being sexist when it comes to the victims, or overly emotional in the analysis of the problem, since it will get in the way of searching for solutions to these kind of problems.

I wholeheartedly blame the media in blowing much of this way out of proportion. They seem to have a special talent for it, driven by their ambition to sell more papers—which for me is the lowliest kind of journalism. If you don’t believe me, just recall the whole “narcofosas” incident a few years ago. I still remember watching the NBC Nightly News with Tom Brokaw and seeing a newsbyte about the discovery of these mass-graves in Cd. Juárez, where it was suspected that over 500 victims of drug traffic were buried. It turned out to be a complete exaggeration, “only” 8 corpses were found. Was there any kind of retraction? Any newsbyte at the international or even local level to correct the facts? The answer is No, because that doesn’t sell.

If you would believe the U.S. State Department, you would get the impression that the border cities are a war zone, comparable to Medellín, or the likes. Or that it is a place on earth where there are pervasive human rights violations—Abu Ghraib anyone?

I have lived all my life here, and I protest such claims without a proper context.

Does it mean that there is no violence in Cd. Juárez? Of course it doesn’t, that would be silly and absurd. Does it mean that there is a “big” violence problem? Aha! Therein lays the question.

Whenever someone uses the term there is a “big” [something] without any kind of context, my inevitable response is “compared to what?” If we were talking about my height, compared to an ant, I’m huge; compared to an elephant I’m not that big. This may sound like nitpicking relativism, but the context in which we say things is important because that programs the beliefs and perceptions that govern our brains.

So, is there a “big” problem with violence against women in Cd. Juárez? Well I’ll start by comparing the statistics in the Milenio article to some other cities in the U.S. that have about the same population (Juárez has about 1.2 to 1.3 million people according to INEGI). I picked New Orleans, LA and Memphis, TN. A quick search on the Bureau of Justice Statistics web site gave me the following figures:

As you can see, from 1993 to 2002 the total of female murder victims for New Orleans and Memphis were 353 and 317 respectively, which are about the same numbers compared to Juarez’ 379—if you take into account that we’re still missing the data for 2004 and 2005 in the BJS web site.

So what does all this mean? Absolutely nothing.

If you do the same exercise for cities like Jacksonville, FL or Austin, TX, the numbers come up 94, and 90 respectively, which only proves that crime rates are different in different areas of the world and within each country. If you look at even more data, you’ll find that the U.S. also experienced a spike in homicides around 1993.

So, things are relative. Why then are we not seeing international protests and BBC coverage about the “massive killings” of women in New Orleans? Well, I would say (1) the N.O. authorities are probably nowhere near as incompetent as the authorities in Juárez, (2) they don’t have an amarillista media like we do and (3) 60% of their population doesn’t live in poverty, without the resources to defend themselves.

Do I believe that the authorities are negligent and should be held responsible for what is happening? Hell yes, I just don’t attribute villainy that which is simply result of stupidity, which is why I wouldn’t blame the president of Mexico for what is going on. So I really don’t see what Ms. Esther Chavez is complaining about since the report just admitted what the problem is: the police authorities did not do their jobs—a super serial killer or multiple serial killers in the city? C’mon.

So let’s stop feeding the media, keep pressure on the authorities, and if you feel inclined, lend a hand to the victims. But don’t come to me with the story that Juárez is a hell hole.

escrito por Carlos Rubalcava a las 4:22 PM | 0 comentarios -- da clic aquí para dejar el tuyo
archivado en: así pienso ¿y qué?, in englich

(For Jenny, my Valentine, my Love)

If I could have my way,
I'd tear down all this earth,
I'd bend this country
East to South
So you are not away.

If I could have my way,
For all that it is worth,
I'd freeze the seasons
many times
so we could watch our birth.

I'd speed the summer
hold your hand
to meet you in the snow.

I'd kiss your neck,
the way I know,
make you lose your breath
and never
let you go.

If I could run the show,
Our bodies would then fuse,
become a melting goo
of love
in a big orgasmic shout

If I had only known
how much I'd fall in love,
how much your light would shine on me,
I would have thought
of something better to say.

escrito por Carlos Rubalcava a las 11:19 PM | 1 comentarios -- da clic aquí para dejar el tuyo
archivado en: basura pseudopoética, in englich

I’m a big believer in fate. Not as an inevitable tragic outcome, but as that force that drives things into your life at just the right moment.

Out of the last 4 or 5 books I’ve read recently, I must say that “Getting Things Done” has to take the “had to happen at this time” prize. Here’s the story of how I came across the book and what happened as I read it.

On a plane ride to New York City, to visit my long-distance girlfriend, I came across an article in the airline magazine mentioning the book, and how a lot of people, even entire companies were turning into droves of fanatics of GTD. Normally, praise like this makes my bullshit detector blink in all kinds of red lights, but the article had enough material from the book which sounded like applied common sense (my favorite type of thinking).

The idea is simple in principle (as I understood it): all the incomplete’s in your life—especially the little ones, and the ones you’ve made in your personal life—eat at your “psychic RAM” and cause you stress and cost you creativity and productivity. Until you get everything in some sort of system, you won’t be able to free your brain enough to look at the bigger picture. “The mind is great for having ideas, but not for holding on to them.”

“OK”, I said, “I’ll bite.” Lately I’ve been having a feeling of having a lot of “stuff” that I needed or wanted to do, but somehow wasn’t getting anything done (like blogging). “There just aren’t enough hours in the day”, I thought.

My girlfriend was going through a similar state of mind, because she’s graduating from AMDA in a couple of weeks and all of the sudden has to do a gazillion things she’s never done before to get ready for “the real”, big, bad, scary world, like finding an apartment, getting a job, moving, etcetera.

“Maybe this can help us both”. So, while in Manhattan, I went to our favorite B&N on 68th Steet & Broadway and bought 2 copies at $15 dollars a piece (pretty cheap, best investment I have made in a long while).

After a tearful and sad goodbye—like all the times we’ve had to part for months—I got on a plane to head “home”. I had to pack in a hurry so I unintentionally left another 2 books I’m reading right now in one of my suitcases and realized only after I was on the plane that the only book I had with me was GTD.

It was a brisk read. Before I got off the plane I had already gone through part 1 of the book. At this point, I had already read several ideas that made me go “Yes! Aha! Why does this feel like I already knew this already? Brilliant!” Really simple stuff, like how important it was to actually get things out of your head so you can actually do some thinking and, dare I say it, some imagining. The “natural” planning process which not only makes sense, but actually works (and for me had a lot more in common with the process of doing creative writing then I initially anticipated).

By the time I got off the plane I was hooked. And wouldn’t you know it? The airline misplaced the suitcase where I had the other books I was reading; they wouldn’t get to my house until a couple of days later, so for now I was “stuck” with this one. Coincidence? I think not.

That night my girlfriend nearly had a breakdown from the weight of all of her “open loops”. In the past I had no clue how to help her, what advice to give or what pointers to share. Now? “Turn to page 32. See that diagram? That’s what we need to start doing.” And within an hour, over the phone, she got the gist of it and started doing it. I wasn’t an expert by any means, but even the essence of the ideas, I think helped her regain a sense of control.

I also took a stab at doing the things that the book suggested, but quickly developed a lot of questions on what would be the best approach on handling my “stuff” in particular situations. As it happens, the second part of the book was actually a step-by-step walk-through of the “method” so I resolved to finish reading it. I read most of part 2 on the bus rides to and from work in the next two days, a very light read. Turns out it was true, it was mostly common sense and “tricks”—start with your workspace at office and at home, get everything into the process, having the right tools at hand when you need them, setting up your lists, what goes in your calendar, what goes in your Next Actions, have actions categorized by context and what categories are good, and so on.

So I started trying out some of the stuff, without a full-blown implementation, but even then I could feel the mental difference. I first tried an all-digital approach (which I’ll probably blog about later) but then quickly ran into issues. So I’ve decided to take a step back and actually do the entire method (starting with my workspace at work and at home) which meant finishing the book ASAP.

One of the greatest suggestions is having a list of “Projects” (the stuff that you’d like to do but requires more than one action) to review periodically. As I jotted things down I found out I had a lot more things in constantly in my head than I had realized up until then, including the biggie: “Getting to New York”

You see, I first tried moving to NY when my girlfriend decided to go to AMDA and study acting, but when money ran out and I wasn’t able to find a work visa that would allow me to stay, I had to come back. “The plan” was “put some money together, and try again, be ready by the beginning of next year (2006)”. This is a rather broad, ambitious project which would require many things, which I started to do, but then somehow, without me knowing, started to stall and stagnate. And as they slowed, my sense of “not moving forward” increased.

As fate would have it, yesterday, just as I was finishing up with part 2, I was approached about the possibility of a job in Boston (just 4 hours away from NY!). If it happened I would have to be ready to move and be there in 2 or 3 weeks. “What? Change jobs? Now? I’m not nearly as ready as I should be! What about the money? What would I do when the contract ends in a couple of months? AAHHH!” You get the idea. And I hadn’t even sent my résumé or anything. Truth is I might yet be able to pull it off if I get my act together right now, and even then there is a lot of risk involved. And if it doesn’t work out that’ll be fine too. The important thing I realized is: I can’t afford to lose opportunities like this; I need to get my projects under control. Fortunately, the last chapter in part 2 had that very title.

So, on to part 3, where a little tidbit on pages 244 and 241 (“Why Bright People Procrastinate the Most”) seemed to describe me and my girl to a T: “Bright people have the capability of freaking out faster and more dramatically than anyone else” which actually made me feel a little bit better about having “missed” my original personal goal. It also made me realize how important this was to getting back control of my life and getting the sense of purpose back.

Thank You Dave, this is life-altering stuff. It’s too late in the evening to do anything now, but first thing tomorrow morning:

Next Action: “Go to Office Depot; get in-basket and supplies.” And this is a weekend.

PS. This book could truly have broader applications. I got a lot of ideas of how it could influence software development (which is what I do for a living). Stay tuned…

escrito por Carlos Rubalcava a las 10:08 PM | 0 comentarios -- da clic aquí para dejar el tuyo
archivado en: in englich, la puritita neta

As I write these lines, a man’s life is about to end.  There seems to be no redemption in the United States.  Could this one act of clemency have altered the world’s future for the better?

I will not defend Stanley Williams, by painting him as a saint or a martyr.  I don’t know enough about him to know whether or not he did, in fact, commit the crimes he was convicted of.  I know the pain of those who were victimized must feel real, and that they must want some form of retribution, but the slaying of another man, who has come to represent more than his crimes seems all too illogical.  

My question is: if someone who has been nominated several times for the Nobel peace prize, is not a candidate for clemency, then who is?

How would the world have reacted if someone like Nelson Mandela was executed during his incarceration?  After all, did they not both fight against racism and promote non-violence?

It is hard to reconcile the idea of someone who was in one of the advanced stages of “violentization” with that of a peace-promoter, but it does not seem to me that he had reached the virulency-malignancy stage.  Had that been the case, I don’t think he would have had a problem admitting to killing those four people.

What has been gained by his execution?  An affirmation of blunt laws that do not distinguish one type of criminal from another; a message, that the state’s “monopoly of violence” reigns supreme.  

All of this wouldn’t bother me so much if I hadn’t noticed that separate events might suggest that Americans accept of violence as a natural reaction to fear or revenge, and if that’s the case, then what hope is there for the rest of the world? (Assuming, of course that you buy the argument that “the US is the beacon of civilization”)  

The Bush Administration’s actions, at an international level don’t seem to leave room for a much of a counterargument—starting a pre-emptive war (Iraq) after a “retaliatory” one (Afghanistan). The message: the United States of America is a violent country.  Welcome to the 21st century.

Rest In Peace, Stanley.

escrito por Carlos Rubalcava a las 12:39 AM | 0 comentarios -- da clic aquí para dejar el tuyo
archivado en: así pienso ¿y qué?, in englich

I just bumped into this on Google Video.

This is probably one of the funniest, most original video I've seen in a while. Somebody had waaay too much time on their hands, thank God.

In a nutshell, it's over 1 hour of pretty much every popular anime movie or show, set to your favorite 80's music plus some additional audio dubbing. The effort must have been quite impressive (according to their web page, this video has over 217 [!] clips).

Now, I wouldn't consider myself a huge fan of anime, but I think it's one of the most misunderstood, under-rated and entertaining art forms--probably stemming from our Japanese friends' obsession with big eyes, hair and animated naked women.

My favorite moments:

• The girls on one of the opening sequences reloading revolvers (as in guns) with bullets coming out of their rather large boobs.
• Clip of Hellsing to the soundtrack of "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?" [that was EXACTLY what I thought the first time I saw that show].
• Dragon Ball-Z clip of Vegetta (however the hell that's spelled) to the track of Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You".

--WTF?
That was exactly my reaction.

You can download it from here.

escrito por Carlos Rubalcava a las 11:19 PM | 0 comentarios -- da clic aquí para dejar el tuyo
archivado en: descubrimientos aleatorios, in englich